Death Angel

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She is fire, she is burning
She is hotter than any coal
She will hurt you, she is pain
She is the one to save your soul

To be herself, would be a miracle
They all see her in such extremes
“sweet, innocent girl” or
“slutty, lying schemes”

She truly follows neither defining
Though to others, she is easily named
To those who are ingenuous
She is small, feeble-minded

Little do their insignificant minds know
She understands more than them all
She can calculate one’s moon rising
She can calculate their sun’s fall

She can see through the unfathomable
She can comprehend the truth in each lie
She cannot be fooled by ambiguity
She knows every time you defy.

The thought of her my frighten you
Oh, but the sight of her will not
For she looks as a blue eyed angel
But inside she is sin, burning hot

Her soul was sold to the devil
She will never get it back
But until her day is done
She will get revenge, payback.

She will let the devil have her soul
But not the innocents awaiting
She will save them all before she goes
No matter what, they will be acquitted

See for her, her soul is gone
She gave her life for another
One that deserved it more
One who could go much further

It seems they both survived, on Earth at least
So now the ending awaits
For her, she is ready for the end
To walk through Hell’s fiery gates

And the soul the she has saved
Oh, how it has been taken for granted
For as she lives in pain and grief
The one saved became canted

There is nothing more for her to do
Than help those in the time she has left
But the more she tries & the more she fails
The more she feels inept.

One day she will lift away
She will take one last flight
Up into the sky, never to be seen again
Gone forever with a bundle of dynamite.

Ready for her time to shine
On her stairway to heaven that she deserves
Past the sun that burns deep and far
This joke is unreal, she is going to die

It is true that she will shine
Though it will be in reflectance of Hadez’ fires,
Yet she knows in her finality, that endings
Are always more important than beginnings

-k.d. 
3-22-2016
(Drawing by Zach Duffey)

 

 

She is scattered across the states
A little for each man she trusted
She never should have believed
Anyone who was so persistent

They fell for her, and she fell back
She smiled so widely, so bright
Her heart felt full, if only for a second
Then they left her broken, cold at night.

Most are caught up on one heart break
She is hurting from too many to count
They all took something from her
Each leaving a scar, unashamed no doubt.

Each man took a different part of her
Pieces they will never return
How could she ever be whole again
When so much is gone, burned.

One took her belief in fairy tales
Another, her love for laughter
One took away all trust she held
Left her crying alone, soon after.

One made her feel comfortable
Now, relax.. She couldn’t dare
One made her feel she could sleep tight
Now her rest is full of the nightmare

She doesn’t believe it is all their fault
She is the common denominator
But why her? Why keep taking pieces?
No one deserves that, it hurts her

It seems now there are no pieces left
She is empty with nothing to give
Each of the men walks with a part of her
Now she is destined alone to live.

-k.d.
12-13-15

Kimono

He loves her, he said it
How does she accept something
That she never thought possible
And respond without crying.

How does she accept a love
That she feels she doesn’t deserve
But she knows she is good enough
She has been seen but never heard

She wanted to fly like a bird
Now she is high off his presence
She may never come down
From his intoxicating essence

She’ll suffer without it
Now that she’s been exposed
To a true love
And daily, as it grows

Good things don’t happen to her
Only pain and heart aches
It seems she is coming out of the storm
And she may have a beautiful fate

Once again she feels excitement
A thrill for her future
She hasn’t felt in so long
Maybe this is her cure

You see, sometimes pain
It is only preparing us
For the wonderful person
We are to become and thus

Just as you think
You are falling apart
You will conquer
And stitch up your heart

And you’ll learn
You don’t have to do it solo
There is someone out there
Who wants to be your kimono

They’ll wrap them selves around you
Make you feel safe and warm
You’ll never be afraid
Never be cold in the storm

-k.d.
9.20.15

Darkness

Sleeping is most difficult
Every single night.
No matter how tired I am,
I cannot give up the fight

To keep my eyes wide open
And distract myself until
The sun comes up, the rays
Come through my window seal.

“Why?” they ask, “Can you not rest?”
“I wish,” I say “But I cannot,
For if I close my eyes
The darkness may hear the thought

The thought I cannot share
With you or anyone else,
For it would frighten everyone,
Even Satan himself.”

During the day, there are so many sounds
That no one else could hear
What’s going on inside my mind
But at night, it is the darkness I fear.

The darkness is so quiet,
What if my mind opens wide?

No one, no thing, no earthly creature
Should hear what screams from inside.
For I, myself, cannot withstand my head
I try to run and hide.

So when the sun rises and I go to sleep
I know I can relax
The shadows are gone and now I
Can hold onto my thoughts, at last.

No more fear of stolen treasures,
Though frightening they may be,
I don’t even want the darkness
To feel as cold as me.

-k.d.
9-8-2015

why is she writing

I have had this urge to write for some time now and I am running out of notebook paper.
So, I decided maybe writing my thoughts and poems online might be a nice start
instead of scribbling my words all over a notebook
(that I believe is getting tired of my constant scratching out and ramblings).
Maybe a few people will appreciate what I have been thinking,
more than my notebook does at least.

My story, my thoughts & my life are a little complicated, but they are also ones
that I hold dear to my heart and maybe yall will find some comfort or a connection in them. At least I hope so. Enjoy