She is scattered across the states
A little for each man she trusted
She never should have believed
Anyone who was so persistent
They fell for her, and she fell back
She smiled so widely, so bright
Her heart felt full, if only for a second
Then they left her broken, cold at night.
Most are caught up on one heart break
She is hurting from too many to count
They all took something from her
Each leaving a scar, unashamed no doubt.
Each man took a different part of her
Pieces they will never return
How could she ever be whole again
When so much is gone, burned.
One took her belief in fairy tales
Another, her love for laughter
One took away all trust she held
Left her crying alone, soon after.
One made her feel comfortable
Now, relax.. She couldn’t dare
One made her feel she could sleep tight
Now her rest is full of the nightmare
She doesn’t believe it is all their fault
She is the common denominator
But why her? Why keep taking pieces?
No one deserves that, it hurts her
It seems now there are no pieces left
She is empty with nothing to give
Each of the men walks with a part of her
Now she is destined alone to live.
She is drowning again, in darkness it seems
Each drop of firewater, a nightmare, a bad dream.
They started falling one by one, she barely even noticed
But eventually she realized, she was beginning to lose balance.
Each drop stung a little more than the last
And then burning at her feet as they puddled up fast.
Her toes tingled, they burned, as horrors swam through her mind
All the sorrow she pushed away it was here and up it climbed.
They began at the bottom, slowly rising to the top
As they engulfed her, not breathing, she almost stopped.
Stopped trying to fight away the pain & fear she felt
Because the more she fought, the more she found it compelled.
For her to not be afraid is a difficult task,
But pretending to not be afraid, well that is the easy way out.
It’s frightening to realize that these nightmares are no longer just fiction
But are swallowing her whole, even when her eyes are open.
One day she will learn to awake and spit it out,
To no longer let the demons drown her & fill her with doubt.
But for now if she can just face these fears, not fight or pretend,
Maybe she will come out a stronger soul who is awake & on dry land.