Bookcase

books

She has a bookcase
Labeled “The Heartbreaks”
One shelf wasn’t enough
She wishes it was, for her sake

There are four different shelves
One for each genre of the hurt
Each in order of intensity
From sadness to anger to absurd

One shelf is for small aches
The quick ones that didn’t sting
Not as bad as the rest
They didn’t really mean a thing

One is for the long loves
The ones she always regrets
One is for the men who hurt her
But didn’t care or even fret

One is for the hurt she solely caused
Those were so unfair
She hates how horrible she was
Leaving both parties in despair

Most of the books are unfinished
She will never open their covers again
Some have empty pages near the back
Those she knows may never end

The ones without endings
Are because she hopes one day to fill
The story with happiness
Love that could finally conceal

What she really wants
Is just one more book
To place on different bookcase
In a special little nook

That begins with happy
And tells of true fate
All it entails is love
How life can be great

A book so wonderful that
It will begin a series
All of the volumes holding tales
Of adventures they’d experience.

Each book would tell a tale
Of their wonderful days
Of they fun they’d have together
And their love that would never fade

You could see, taste and smell their love
In each page as it turned
And each volume it got deeper
Their fate, always confirmed

And now she loves this bookcase
The other one has cobwebs
Her new one she has painted
With daisies and sunflower fields

Today she took a sledgehammer
She broke “The Heartbreaks” to pieces
All she needs or wants for
Is on the colorful flower bookcase

-k.d.
10/28/2015

Reader

book

When the wind is blowing
And she feels alone
There is only one way
She can be whole

She puts it in her hands
She touches the cover
She smells the pages
She inhales the undiscovered

The ink holds a story
Deep inside its folds
Her mind will open up
And new stories it can hold

Of lovers, of demons,
Of worlds far away
Of wars, of tragedy
Of unexpected fate

She wraps herself in the tale
These stories she will not forget
For they are now a part of her
Not a one does she regret

They all have a special place
In her heart and in her mind
They help her make decisions
She remembers each time

The horror story reminds her
Of the bad in the world
And how she can make it through
No matter how she has crumpled

The romance tale encourages her
To not be so afraid
Because even the outcasts
Have found love one day

And the futuristic tales are the best
She realizes she is not alone
With a mind that wanders past now
And craves for the unknown

For this world here
It is not what makes her, herself
It is the fictional stories
That sit on her bookshelf

-k.d.
10-22-2015

Unrhymed

I don’t just want to hear
About the wonderful things
Happening in your life
I want to be one of them

I don’t want to be the seer with a crystal ball
Watching all of your happiness come to you
I want to be in the beautiful vision with you
Dancing in the sun and being a part of your joy

I feel so left out, though I am happy for you
Jealousy is eating me alive
All I want is to be one of the things
That makes you smile like that

I know I make you happy
But it’s not the same
I can’t make you as happy
As your greatest successes

Because to you, I am not a success
I am just another asset,
Another claim
To build your ego

I will not be your pride booster
I will not be your cheerleader
I am your greatest win
Or I will be your greatest loss

The choice will only be yours
For a small window of time
Until it is taken from you
And I will be gone

Leaving nothing but a memory
Maybe even a scar
But I will not return again
You can dance in the dark.

-k.d.
10.2.15

Fire

She didn’t want the darkness
To return
But it is inevitable,
The light doesn’t burn

She thought she was whole
She forgot the curse
It seems her situation
Is now in reverse

He wanted to love her
But she was so cold
She tried to be warmer
For him to hold

They say there must be a darkness
To see the light
But there is no spark in her
Though she tried so hard to fight

She wanted to be bright
But she is only gray
She is only the night
She can never be day

She loved him too much
He loved her, not enough
She tried to accept that
For her it is too tough

She cannot settle for average
It must be great or horrific
Her life must be perfect
Or end, she must be dramatic

Why must she believe
That she is wrong
Maybe it is him
Maybe she is just strong

Maybe he should love her
The way she deserves
Maybe it is his fault
She is not so absurd

She should stop playing into
What he tells her she is
Because she is not crazy
She just wanted to be his

With him she felt brighter
If only for a moment
She just wants to matter
He isn’t so God sent

Her light is now dim
Her eyes will now close
There is no more light
Her heart now exposed

It is torn, it is scarred
It is bruised, it is blue
It cannot withstand another
They stuck like tattoos

There is no more room
It is covered, it is turning black
Her heart no longer beating
It has begun to crack

Somethings cannot be fixed
She thought she was an exception
But she is broken completely
He was another infection

It wasn’t intentional
What he did to her soul
But he cast it away
He didn’t want her to hold

If he had only known
She was not his desire
She may have survived
This hell unleashed fire

-k.d.
10-3-2015