The feelings he brings
Are different from the rest
He was her first love,
He left her depressed.

She’s moved on since then,
But she’ll never forget
How that heart-break destroyed her,
There was so much regret.

They yelled, they screamed,
She cried and he bullied,
She lied, for his attention,
She gave so much and never received.

Years later he realizes
What he has done,
But can she ever go back?
Is he the one?

He can put a smile on her face,
Even four years later,
She’s got butterflies in her stomach,
Will he betray her?

She cannot figure out
If what she is feeling is real
Or if she is just longing
For the void to be filled.

How does she open her heart to someone
Who has broken it before?
She remembers that horrible day
When she cried on the floor.

She was unable to move
Because her love was not returned,
She gave him everything
But he could not be concerned

With her crazy gestures
And constant jealousy
He left her alone,
She felt she couldn’t breath.

It took years to get over him,
To not think of him every day,
And now he is apologetic,
He wishes she had stayed.

Is it naive to give him a second chance?
She cannot decide
But she has a calming feeling
That she should give it a try.

She will know soon enough
If this time he has changed,
If she will finally be sufficient
Or if she will come unhinged.

She got drunk on him before,
But now she is sober
Soon she will find out
If his intoxicating powers are really over

You see, feelings like hers,
They never fully go away
She may not be tempted by him anymore,
But she may sway.

But if she sees his face, hears his voice
And touches his skin,
She could be addicted again, like at 19,
When she fell for him.

It is time for her to take a leap,
Cross her fingers and pray,
That she will find peace this time,
With or without him. Either way.

Because when the air gets cold
And she puts on her sweater
It’s his warmth she dreams of,
To hold her in this weather.

His scent, his eyes,
His crooked toothed smile,
It comforted her once upon a time,
If only for a while.

She moved on, she forgot,
Then she remembered again
How much she would like
To be intoxicated from him

By his corny jokes
And kisses on the cheek
She’d feel tingles down her arms,
All the way to her feet.

It was fun, what they had
But it ended in such hurt
Withdrawals had her shaking,
She needed his shirt

To comfort her, ease the addiction
And put her at peace
But eventually, she didn’t need him anymore,
There was no more grief.

Should he get another chance?
Time has passed by
They are different people now,
She wants to fly

But she doesn’t have to fly alone,
If he is by her side
Or will he leave her again,
Alone to justifiably cry?

To weep in the cold
And damp air alone
What if he isn’t there,
If he no longer wants her to hold?

Maybe this time,
They will do things right,
It will all just fall into place
And there will be no need to fight.

At 19, she was addicted,
She felt pain, hurt and betrayal,
But maybe, this time,
They will excel.

Their love, more strong
And deep, in time
Maybe their relationship won’t be toxic,
Maybe it won’t need to rhyme.

k.d.
9-7-2015

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